myth: knight of shining armor will someday come and make it all better.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Starring at a blank white wall all night long until 8am in the morning do me good.
Working my brain to maximum power, and fell asleep from tiredness, waking up wishing everything that happened was all just a silly dream i can happily forget about, but no, it was not a dream, it was 100%+4 reality; Every thoughts, every words, every tiny particle of emotions running in and out of my head, it was definitely REAL.
Confused actually, trying to breakdown that huge chunk of information and make sure i got it the way i supposed to. The thing is, this isnt some kind of English Literature essay thats got a thesis,body paragraph, transition words, and conclusion, if it were it will either be easier for me or could be the material of the next bestselling book the world had ever seen.
I've never been as honest as i was last night and it didn't even took me a sip of alcohol, so applause to that. I would agree on most of the thing we discussed, i guess? im still trying to get it through my system, I had to clue what the meaning of all this. (apparently, the wall cant talk to give you advices, i managed to proved that, last night). It just kills me the only person i think can really help is the person involved in this "incident". What really pisses me off, after shoving a hardcore pile of crap, still that person (either pretend or honestly) cares for you as if, i really was something. So really the only question that mattered thats been popping out of my brain, wasWorking my brain to maximum power, and fell asleep from tiredness, waking up wishing everything that happened was all just a silly dream i can happily forget about, but no, it was not a dream, it was 100%+4 reality; Every thoughts, every words, every tiny particle of emotions running in and out of my head, it was definitely REAL.
Confused actually, trying to breakdown that huge chunk of information and make sure i got it the way i supposed to. The thing is, this isnt some kind of English Literature essay thats got a thesis,body paragraph, transition words, and conclusion, if it were it will either be easier for me or could be the material of the next bestselling book the world had ever seen.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HONESTLY WANT FROM/WITH ME?"
dont make it seem like it is my decision, you know what i want and you are the only person in the whole freaking universe that can easily read my mind as if it were a blank page in an open book. Oh yes u know its true. but what do you want? if i say A or B or Z would it ever affect you the way it would affect me? im guessing it wouldnt..so whats the point of me choosing anyways. Im not hurt or depressed or something like that, i just hate arguing with myself. but really.. i knew exactly how it would happen, im glad i was prepared. ask. I told them "yeah i know how it will go down" its always like this, like its been writen for me or something. I just dont know what to do. if i can take out the piece of my brain that contains this memory, i would give anything to take it out. I thought i regretted some/most things but i realized i should stop being a coward and admit that it was at least for a second it made me smile, and i wont ever regret something that made me smile. Im beggining to see lines on my forehead now, -.-' i shall blame you. Those facials and creams and stuff aint cheap you knoww. -__- i would highly appreciate it if you can somehow answer my question like i answered all of yours last night, im sure that satisfied you. but for now since all you can do is add more questions to my head and putting more contradiction, i wont decide. I'll just let it happen as it happens and i know whatever happens somehow will bring me priceless life experiences that i can take some benefit of.
Silly Goose, Thanks.
for simply being the stupidest, smartest, badass ive ever known :)
i shall get ready and get some refreshment for myself.
Silly Goose, Thanks.
for simply being the stupidest, smartest, badass ive ever known :)
i shall get ready and get some refreshment for myself.
